Be U: Miss You

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Miss You

Hello. I am inclined to ask if you missed me!?!?! I know I have not been here for some time and I know that I miss writing and sharing with you.

We have been condo shopping for a place on the water. The water (ocean really) has been calling my heart since I was about 17.

I love the smell of the salt water. I love the energy of the ocean. I love the vastness and beauty of the colors between the sky, the horizon, the water and the land. Pelicans are one of my favorite birds. Palms are one of my favorite trees.

I love surrounding myself with and seeing all of these every day. Crossing a bridge over the water; hearing the sound of the water; watching boats; feeling the air are gifts that keep giving for me.

We are in the process of, perhaps, moving on and forward to the coast. The condo that we found I am ecstatic about.

The move, the process and the change take an enormous amount of time, not to mention money, patience, communication and adherence.

Staying within my loving truth while preparing for a change has been interesting. Far from impossible and always needing to be open, aware and listen.

I am moving on - hopefully, and I am hoping you will continue your adventure of learning and being yourself with me.

My energy level is kicking it. My hope is enormous. My dreams are within reach.

Instead of exercising (personal trainer) and being at the beach I am going to live in the best of what I have to offer (life coach) and be on the intracoastal looking at the waters of both the intracoastal and the ocean.

I am ready. Bring it on.

May you be ready to create what you are ready for. May you be open to bringing it on.

If you miss me (my support of You) when I don't show up here too often until after I am settled, please visit me on social media for just tidbits of [what is my hope] what being You means to You.

Sending out love to each and every one of You and wishing for the best of You to win out in as many moments as possible.

I wrote this morning - "May you be in this moment aware of yourself."

I so wish this for you.

May you be open to the best of you... You can be pretty awesome. Oh yeah!

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!