I'm heading out. Excited to see the world with this new me! Scared too.
What a day I had today. I was bombarded with many emotional situations. I learned so much about myself again.
I am happily exhausted.
May you know, that if you are having a stressful moment, there just may be information available for you to learn and to grow at this time. May you trust where your inside knowing is leading you. May you listen and hear.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Blessings
A wonderful and brilliant woman told me about the book "My Grandfather's Blessings" by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
Below is an excerpt from this book that I'd like to share with you.
""That is how it feels to me," he told me. "I am always tuning my orchestra. Somewhere deep inside there is a sound that is mine alone, and I struggle daily to hear it and tune my life to it. Sometimes there are people and situations that help me to hear my note more clearly; other times, people and situations make it harder for me to hear. A lot depends on my commitment to listening and my intention to stay coherent with this note. It is only when my life is tuned to my note that I can play life's mysterious and holy music without tainting it with my own discordance, my own bitterness, resentment, agendas, and fears.""
"Deep inside, our integrity sings to us whether we are listening or not. It is a note that only we can hear. Eventually, when life makes us ready to listen, it will help us to find our way home."
Are you playing to your one of a kind sound that is yours alone?
Below is an excerpt from this book that I'd like to share with you.
""That is how it feels to me," he told me. "I am always tuning my orchestra. Somewhere deep inside there is a sound that is mine alone, and I struggle daily to hear it and tune my life to it. Sometimes there are people and situations that help me to hear my note more clearly; other times, people and situations make it harder for me to hear. A lot depends on my commitment to listening and my intention to stay coherent with this note. It is only when my life is tuned to my note that I can play life's mysterious and holy music without tainting it with my own discordance, my own bitterness, resentment, agendas, and fears.""
"Deep inside, our integrity sings to us whether we are listening or not. It is a note that only we can hear. Eventually, when life makes us ready to listen, it will help us to find our way home."
Are you playing to your one of a kind sound that is yours alone?
Today
Today, where I find myself, I find it best to trust that this is where I am supposed to be. If I was supposed to be somewhere else, doing something else, living a different life...that is where I'd be.
For today, I am trusting that this is the path I am supposed to be on and all this newness and unexplained-ness and awareness is supposed to be right here with me.
I am right where I'm supposed to be for today. I honor it; I feel blessed and I am okay right here, right now, right in this minute.
My wish for you is that you trust that you are where you are supposed to be; to be open and aware while embracing change that helps to create the great, open road ahead of us.
I am not having the easiest of times; however, I trust and know the blessings that are my life. When I find myself scared, frustrated, angry or alone, it does not feel like joy and I know these feelings will pass. At times, I feel myself resistant to feeling these unjoyful feelings. However, I believe I cannot get to the all of me until I feel and let go of everything that I consider 'ugly' inside of myself.
Do feelings not expressed leave an impression? Do feelings expressed move on and out of us?
I remember, once, worrying about if I release this ugly feeling by screaming (in my car or a safe, private environment), punching a pillow or stomping around, what happens to it. I was concerned that someone else might get it. It was responded to me that it is only energy. It is neutral energy once released. I choose to believe this.
For today, I am trusting that this is the path I am supposed to be on and all this newness and unexplained-ness and awareness is supposed to be right here with me.
I am right where I'm supposed to be for today. I honor it; I feel blessed and I am okay right here, right now, right in this minute.
My wish for you is that you trust that you are where you are supposed to be; to be open and aware while embracing change that helps to create the great, open road ahead of us.
I am not having the easiest of times; however, I trust and know the blessings that are my life. When I find myself scared, frustrated, angry or alone, it does not feel like joy and I know these feelings will pass. At times, I feel myself resistant to feeling these unjoyful feelings. However, I believe I cannot get to the all of me until I feel and let go of everything that I consider 'ugly' inside of myself.
Do feelings not expressed leave an impression? Do feelings expressed move on and out of us?
I remember, once, worrying about if I release this ugly feeling by screaming (in my car or a safe, private environment), punching a pillow or stomping around, what happens to it. I was concerned that someone else might get it. It was responded to me that it is only energy. It is neutral energy once released. I choose to believe this.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Uncertain
I'm uncertain about alot of things right now and it's okay with me. I don't need to know why, how or what of anything.
I'm just being and feeling and working through all that I am feeling. This feeling stuff isn't the easiest at times. I understand why drugs and alcohol are so prevalent in our culture. Feeling is not always easy.
I do believe it's the only way to get the truth of who I am. I am choosing to feel everything inside of me.
I'm holding on tight and taking the ride of my life.
It is amazing how happy my body is that I am not fighting what I feel, think or am anymore.
Are you allowing yourself to be and feel everything that you are and have inside of you? Do you dare? Baby steps are acceptable.
Oh what a party it is...
I'm just being and feeling and working through all that I am feeling. This feeling stuff isn't the easiest at times. I understand why drugs and alcohol are so prevalent in our culture. Feeling is not always easy.
I do believe it's the only way to get the truth of who I am. I am choosing to feel everything inside of me.
I'm holding on tight and taking the ride of my life.
It is amazing how happy my body is that I am not fighting what I feel, think or am anymore.
Are you allowing yourself to be and feel everything that you are and have inside of you? Do you dare? Baby steps are acceptable.
Oh what a party it is...
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Emotions
"To rule your emotions means to let them alone. They are a force of Nature. You are the source of your own satisfaction; do not look to others to provide that for you. Do not allow others to take away your happiness. It is only necessary for you to control your own behaviour, which is independent from the emotions."
King of Vessels - from "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place
King of Vessels - from "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place
Conflict
Conflict to do what works best for me, which in turn, I believe, will work best for the ones I love is processing through me.
Have I come to a stalemate.
Do I drive 8 hours to see a man who I call Dad and, yet, do not know. Do I stay put and talk to him and pray for him from a distance. Do I go overnite 3 days before I have a scheduled flight to CA.
My inner knowing is telling me to throw caution to the wind and go. My mind and body is telling me to stay put because I will only see him for one hour, if that. They are doing many tests and he will be drugged up. He will not know I am there. I will know I am.
Oh, the conflict of what is.
I am having so much fear, emotions and feelings throughout my body and mind. The lost, frightened, frozen child is here not knowing which way to turn. I hope to hold her hand and show her the way. I can do this now. I just have to choose it.
---------------
My dad just called. He told me not to come. There is my answer.
May you, mostly, know what is best for you without waiting for others to know your answer.
Have I come to a stalemate.
Do I drive 8 hours to see a man who I call Dad and, yet, do not know. Do I stay put and talk to him and pray for him from a distance. Do I go overnite 3 days before I have a scheduled flight to CA.
My inner knowing is telling me to throw caution to the wind and go. My mind and body is telling me to stay put because I will only see him for one hour, if that. They are doing many tests and he will be drugged up. He will not know I am there. I will know I am.
Oh, the conflict of what is.
I am having so much fear, emotions and feelings throughout my body and mind. The lost, frightened, frozen child is here not knowing which way to turn. I hope to hold her hand and show her the way. I can do this now. I just have to choose it.
---------------
My dad just called. He told me not to come. There is my answer.
May you, mostly, know what is best for you without waiting for others to know your answer.
California Here I Come
Soon, it will be that time again. Time for the Mind, Body, Fitness Conference that I go to every year. This year, instead of the desert, it is on the beach. How nice.
I feel like this year I am going as a one year old. Starting from scratch; hoping to find my way in this field again. I'm bringing my inner depth along with my body. For the first time, my inner depth is stronger than my body. It feels like a whole new ball game. I have to process through it and learn how to play this game.
It's called "Inner Idea" and the 'inner' part is right up my alley for now. We do Tai Chi and Yoga, Meditation and QiGong. We take nature walks and have moonlight meditations. This will be my sixth year in a row.
This year, I am open to the whole me attending. Very scary (will there be an ambulance involved?); very exciting (will I be behind the podium?). Probably neither. But, this is where my thoughts range. Oh my.
I feel like the world is surely throwing a lot of 'things' around just now.
May we catch what works for us and allow the energy that doesn't correspond with our happiness to process forward ionly as good energy for others to catch.
My hope is
We can grow anew together. We can continue forward together. We can create the world we want. We can share it all with peace in our hearts.
I feel like this year I am going as a one year old. Starting from scratch; hoping to find my way in this field again. I'm bringing my inner depth along with my body. For the first time, my inner depth is stronger than my body. It feels like a whole new ball game. I have to process through it and learn how to play this game.
It's called "Inner Idea" and the 'inner' part is right up my alley for now. We do Tai Chi and Yoga, Meditation and QiGong. We take nature walks and have moonlight meditations. This will be my sixth year in a row.
This year, I am open to the whole me attending. Very scary (will there be an ambulance involved?); very exciting (will I be behind the podium?). Probably neither. But, this is where my thoughts range. Oh my.
I feel like the world is surely throwing a lot of 'things' around just now.
May we catch what works for us and allow the energy that doesn't correspond with our happiness to process forward ionly as good energy for others to catch.
My hope is
We can grow anew together. We can continue forward together. We can create the world we want. We can share it all with peace in our hearts.
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