Be U: As Much and Often

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, October 5, 2023

As Much and Often

In this moment.. Breathe..

May you allow contentment - your own contentment - to rise up and reside.

It seems to me that it is the human brain - the human way - to dream. To want more or different, often, to live in moments waiting/wanting for something else.

I currently find myself waiting on payment of the sale of the condo we have sold. I hear others waiting for medical reports, others waiting for their next appointment or call, waiting in traffic, waiting to see how someone else is going to act or respond, waiting to feel better, waiting to see when one will be relocated, waiting on time…

Many of us await something throughout many moments of each day.

Can we let our moments be more usefully engaged fully in the moment…

What will happen will happen when it does. Be here now content in the here and now; as often and as much as possible. "Use your time wisely" is the phrase that comes to mind.

Hoot.

Choose now to allow what you want to feel and feel it now. Not when or after something else happens. Now, as our life is happening.

If/when you find yourself waiting on anything, let your full presence come into the present moment and meet it where it is. With what life is showing you, as you are; aware and engaged.

May you live life now in this moment just being You. Build your life through living your life engaged with life as it is now.

Your loving truth will open the best doors and ways as you allow your own contentment and senses lit to each moment - moment to moment.

Surrender into the calm of trusting the process of life, yourself and what is.

Reside in the pleasure of not needing more knowing more is coming.

This 'more' will be created best as our breath, our truth, our love and our awareness resides moment to moment.

Each moment is new and fresh. For me, there is a great joy in living my life free to be me now.

I’m great and able in this moment fully present; as much as possible. How wonderful and fulfilling.

It is like falling in love. The joy of the moment. The joy that is felt. Living in the love of the process now open to the joy of the fullness of my beating heart.

May you always be falling in love with yourself.

May we be open to being the peace in the chaos, the love in the angst and the beauty in the sorrow; as much and as often as possible.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!