The beautiful therapist left. I received a call, got a notice and my dogs needed attention immediately (or so it felt like this to me).
I am angry at the world right now. I don't like admitting it and I also do not like feeling it. I'm angry at whoever comes my way just now - people; animals, phone calls, texts - even positive 'sayings' or thoughts do nothing for me right now. I won't let anything in. I don't want anything to do with what is outside of myself. I want 'me' time. I crave it. I want everything and anything out of my head and I just want to be with the success of the massage and let it process through me and allow my energies to fall into new patterns. My energy surely does not feel like it knows exactly where to go just now.
So, as I sit myself down resisting these words, I'm angry at myself for feeling this way. I'm angry at anything that makes me feel this way. I know I am the only one who allows myself to feel this way. I know that I feel this way for a real reason, whether I know the reason or not. I know anger is not a bad thing; it is only an emotion. It feels 'bad' to me. My head knows it is not. Oh, the fight within.
I have no words going forward. I am with what is. I sit with what is. I am hungry to know more. I want to embrace this feeling and allow it to flow through me. I sit with my 'fingers' on the keypad waiting for words to come. None do.
I'm going to get up, make my lunch and watch the rain, that is threatening to, come down.
I will see what comes my way next. How lucky I am that I have the time to do just this. I know gratefulness in my anger. Interesting. I surely do not know anything else.
May you be okay with what you know and what you do not know.
No comments:
Post a Comment