Hanging On

My world is spinning around me.  I'm having a hard time focusing.  I feel good things are on the horizon.  I cannot reach them.

I am unsettled and settling.  I'm going to go yet to another doctor; a new perspective.   I know it's the best thing.  I'm tired of reaching out and not having an easy path to walk.

I am inside of me as much as I can be; living my truth on the outside as much as I know how. 

Where does one world collide and become bearable.  I want answers to stop my pain or answers to be happy through with the pain.  I have neither just now.

I am okay.  I want to be better.

I am sad there are no magic or easy answers.  How many more years will I continue to strive to live without pain.  Am I ready to live with pain.

Perhaps, this is my answer.  The answer I'm been dodging and resisting for 30 years.  Live with the pain.  Ugh.  I don't want to and, yet, it may be time to do so.

Hey, in reality, I have been living with the pain.  I just haven't totally accepted doing so.  I now accept to live with the pain just like I have been but without the 'fight' to change it.

How crazy is this.

Is it this simple by just accepting my truth - I have peace.

Mmmmm

May you live what gives you peace within yourself today.