My pain in my hands gas awaken me again. I let the dogs out - amazingly cold. 10 degrees F. Is there anything that can live in that temperature? Found out yesterday that ticks can. My Durby dog went for his daily walk yesterday (I do not walk him in the winter) and he came home with 6 ticks on him. I was certainly surprised. He must have walked through a nest or something. Yucky, right?
Two more days, I go to Florida. It's 43 degrees F. there right now. Will it be the usual reprieve from the cold for me. We will see. Last year and this seem to be unusally cooler in the south. I'm sure there is an explanation for it. I may not even want to hear it.
Every winter, except this one, I've asked myself how can the cold affect me so negatively; why. I know blood vessel constrict in the cold and when we shiver - I guess mine just constrict more then they need to in the fingers and that's why they do not get enough blood. It's literally like my hands are dying while I'm alive. What a horrible disease. I guess that's why it's called a dis-ease. What disease isn't horrible.
Alot of the alternative people in medicine think to get rid of the dis-ease. Sounds easy enough. Apparently, for me, it is not. Is my deep down level of (un)worthiness keeping me stuck. My deep down level of fear of being told I'm wrong to feel this or that way; or someone would laugh at me for my beliefs; or worse - holler at me. (I'm here after reading this sentence again and again; in reality, this probably happened to me only on several occassions and when I was too young to make it not matter. AHA) Why such the impact that 40 plus years later, the fear and dis-ease is still here..........
I'm not sure where this is coming from. I do believe it's coming from deep down inside. Right now in this moment, when I see these words and read them and hear them; they don't seem to have such an impact that they do when I feel them. Feeling them is a much more dramatic feeling then reading and hearing them. Interesting.
May you see the reality of your feelings today. Are U letting your feelings run you or are you running your feelings? This is over my head. I don't know which is the correct answer for me.
I suppose there are times to let our feelings run us and other times when we can sit back, look at how we feel, and decide if it's working for us or not. Keep them or change them up some.
This just may have been a giant leap for Mercedes kind. get it - giant leap for mankind...... ha. Again, 4 am!
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