Lightening Up (or not)

I want to lighten up here.  So much intensity; not sure you feel it.  Would love to say something witty, funny, charming...

I wonder why I need this.  I have this belief that by being so serious, I push you away.  I need to say something charming to bring you back in.  To keep you connected to me.  Yes, this is still important to me.  I guess it always will be.  I'm okay with that.

To not feel connected to people is like death for me.  (oh, so dramatic and yet so true)

I remember being in my early teens and being at my first outdoor drinking party* (do I be honest and say it was in some sort of woods around some sort of cemetery, ugh) and I remember asking Renee to walk me around and I had to be introduced to everyone at the 'party'.  (interesting that this just popped up in my head)  I also remember being at a dance bar for one of my first times and standing in front of the bar on the dance floor and asking everyone that would pay attention to me to come and dance.  I wanted to get the whole place involved!  Weirdo..... maybe!  It's always been important to me that no one is left out. 

When I did a huge group warm-up on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City, NJ before a run/walk - I tried to get everyone waiting to participate in the warm-up. 

I never know where these posts are going; I just go with whatever and fly with it.

How spontaneous are U?  Do you want to try to let go a bit more or, maybe, hold back some just to 'do different' and see what happens.  Do you dare?


*I didn't personally have alcohol here.  It wouldn't be long before I did my experimenting with it, however.