Yesterday I had an appointment that I was late for. Today I find myself early for an appointment. It was in my phone correctly and I didn’t ‘see’ it correctly. My mind didn’t process this correctly.
How many times have I been doing this lately; and for how long has it gone on...
It does feel like change is huge inside of me and throughout my life.
I was sick in bed for 16 days in December. Doctors labeled it ‘bronchitis’. I feel it was so much more. Wiped me out. I lost 10 pounds, was unable to walk the dog and I was not associating with life or the world outside of myself. It wasn’t possible.
It feels like my DNA changed. I feel different.
I have not had a cold; a cough; the flu or anything like this in close to 30 years. It was a ‘yikeser’ for me. I coughed; had fevers; threw up; hardly ate and was very weak.
I’m 95% better than when this had me down and out and I feel like I’m starting my life and myself from new perspectives, new health, new knowledge and new vibration(s).
It feels unknown. It feels uncomfortable and strange. It feels like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
There is an un-calm in me. I find myself focusing on every moment I’m in. I hear myself saying I’m taking a step. I’m taking a deep breath. I’m hanging my towel on a hook. I’m seeing this. I’m hearing that. I’m feeling the A/C. I’m feeling the phone in my hands; the seat underneath me. I’m hearing quiet chatter from the people around me.
This, I find, keeps me in the present moment. This moment. It invites my inner calm. This is what I crave just now.
Thoughts of anything past this moment or anything previous to this moment, currently, do not bring me the calm I so vitally desire.
May you function and live in a way that what you desire and crave now creates and open doors for the possibility of same.
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