No desire to push, pull, run or hide. No route to take; no journey to journey on.
My finger is in 'distress' and when I get myself something to eat, try to file, open a bill or even get the dogs a treat, OUCH.
I am so grateful that I have almost forgotten what this is like. I am so grateful that I haven't had to live with it for some time.
I am so 'spiraling' as I know not what to do with it, me or how to walk forward. I suppose this is another way of saying 'stuck'.. Interesting.
I am unwilling, in this moment, to embrace it. I am unwilling, in this moment, to caress or want it to be my truth.
I am hurt and angry that I find myself here, yet again. I know not what to do with this feeling.
This is my truth in this very moment. I do know it is best to feel it, let it process and eventually let it go. Man, I don't want to have to. !
Do I know it will change - yes. Do I know I am okay - yes. Do I know that there is an answer - not particularly.
As I sit here, I am watching a beautiful newt walk up the doorframe on the outside of the fountain area. He is about 3.5 inches and seems to 'just be' in his life. There is a bamboo branch blowing close by him and he is just hanging out watching what is going on. A dragonfly flies by my picture window. There is a yellow flower against the gray wall.
Little Bear, my black pekingese comes over to be lifted up on the chair.
There is so much beauty and love in the world. May my heart not close to it.
There is so much beauty and love in this world. May your heart not close to it.
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