Pain

I'm thinking that pain produces cortisol.  I do know that stress produces cortisol.  I believe that I may be feeling more and more stress because I am not managing my pain well.

I always took however many pain pills necessary to keep on keeping on and live my life and get things done.  I stopped doing this in March of 2009; I still took pills, but a very limited amount.  I've been in bed pretty much ever since. 

I've learned a lot about myself and my beliefs and my struggles.  I thought learning these things would help me to be me and my pain would go away.  It has not. 

I do not like admitting this and I certainly am not enjoying living it.  However, I think it's time to work with the same doctor I have worked with for 30 years and, perhaps, try to manage my pain level better.  Perhaps, I can function somewhat normally if I can get this pain to go away.

I know that pain medicine just masks the symptoms.  I've tried to deal with the symptoms, while abating them while feeling the pain.  I'm just not having enough fun when the pain is present. 

I think I'm going to try the medicine again and see what happens.   I do not know what else to do. 

If pain produces cortisol like I think it must, then the pain I experience could be what is causing me to feel like I'm in the fight or flight stage often.  AND, it can be very, very exhausting to my mind, body, spirit and soul.

I just want it to go away.  I'm tired of fighting.  I'm tired of the pain.  Yikes.

May you deal with your truth; and may you deal easier than I.