Cannot Speak

I cannot speak of what I feel; what I'm experiencing inside of myself as I await the call that my father is gone.  I am saddened; I am at peace; I am angry; I am okay.  I am in awe of the unknown of life.  I am.  This is what I know.

I'm going around doing some shopping and gathering of gifts.  I'm functioning somewhat well.  I am accepting this is where I am; this is where my life has lead me.

I can't understand or know why or how life can be so surprising and strange.

I feel guilt that I'm somewhat okay while he lays leaving his body.  I feel a heaviness that has no words to it.

I am.

May you allow the truth of who you are to shine the light of you onto our world and the people you love and spend time with throughout the next two very special days.  Share all of you with the people you love.  BE U as you celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and know we are all where we are supposed to be.  I believe this simply because this is where we are at.

May you meet yourself right where your life is at.  Allow your heart to be open and God's light to shine in and through you.