Celebration

This week I am celebrating my 20th Wedding Anniversary and my 51st Birthday.  Seems like just yesterday I was 20 yrs. old in one manner and in another - wow, I'm getting older.  50 used to seem so far away. 

Apparently, it wasn't so far within my reach as it felt!  I'm older, yes.  I'm wiser, yes.  What do I do with both?  That is still to be determined.  

How exciting and how different this is from first graduating high school.  Then, it felt like the whole world was in front of me and anything was possible for me.  A great 'expansive' feeling I felt. 

This is different.  For some reason, my world seems smaller in one manner.  My energy doesn't want to go 'out there' so much.  In other ways, it still seems that anything is possible.  I feel I can guide my energy with more control and more openness.  Not just feeling the 'world out there', but, perhaps, knowing the 'world out there'.  More scary for me and yet just as exciting if I let it! 

I'm not celebrating with wild abandonment like I did back then.  I sort of want to; I don't know how as easily. 

Seems, once I had a child, I looked at the world differently.  For some reason, I paid more attention to all aspects of life; not just the positive.  I became a protector.  I take this job very seriously.  I wonder if I take it too seriously at times.

Anyway, I am celebrating.  I'm buying flowers.  Taking walks.  Dreaming and loving.  Sharing me.  Being as real as I know how to all I come in contact with.

I'm choosing happy.  Only I can allow my happy.  I believe it is a choice. 

Every morning I wake up, I want to be me and I want to choose happy.

What do U want today?